September 10, 2021
We open the festivities this week with a quick word about tomorrow, the 20th anniversary of 9/11. Maybe in addition to blog posts and twitter comments with the hashtag #NeverForget, we think back to the national unity, love for each other and sense of purpose we all felt in the days that followed. And just maybe we stop flushing that all down the toilet for another 20 years. It seems like the least we can do to honor those who lost their lives that awful day.
Team Triad sends all of our good vibes to state Sen. Pat Browne as he recovers from a motorcycle accident. Next year’s state budget debate is right around the corner, chairman! Pennsylvania needs ya!
President Joe Biden is apparently done saying “pretty please” to those among us who are still unvaccinated. Biden is now slapping a sort of vaccine mandate (we say “sort of” because there is still an opt-out for weekly testing) on large employers. This measure will set the land speed record for being sued over.
Wow! That was even faster than we thought. The order isn’t even in print yet!
The economic news continues to be the dark cloud hanging over the Biden White House, as consumer prices jumped a whopping 8.3%. The midterm elections will be nasty affair for Democrats if people are taking out second mortgages to buy a pound of bacon.
Congress is once again poised to have an absolute hissy fit bloodbath over raising the debt ceiling to cover the money it has largely already spent. This bit of performative theater is always fun to watch, until you realize how crazy it is. If you max out your credit cards, eventually you are gonna have to pony up the cabbage to pay for it. They teach this stuff in high school home economics classes, for cryin’ out loud.
Governor Wolf’s school-mask mandate went into effect this week, which caused the Republic to fall, as was long predicted. A lawsuit was swiftly filed to stop it, and the legislature will be cutting summer recess short to attempt to repeal it, which will be vetoed, which will cause an override vote, wash, rinse, repeat, and bang your head on the desk.
A state Senate panel this week launched an investigation into whether the 2020 elections were on the up and square. Judging by the first hearing, it is going to be a gargantuan task to keep the heat down and the lights up on this one. We were shocked, however, to learn how many election-law experts there were in the audience, which is to say there wasn’t a single one.
We are happy to report that we are careening headlong toward that inevitable moment when people from all sides of the political spectrum get their first look at the newly drawn political maps, and all collectively scream how unfair they are. When it comes to redistricting, what is fair depends entirely on who’s looking at it. A good rule of thumb in redistricting is to remember that it is like a collective bargaining session: if all sides leave the table pissed off about something, it is probably a pretty good deal.
The next iteration of COVID, the mu variant, has not yet reared its ugly head in Pennsylvania, according to state health officials. So, we should probably just go ahead and close the borders before it gets here. Sorry, Jersey. Stay where you are.
Attorney General Josh Shapiro this week warned folks that scammers are already attempting to make a quick buck at the expense of people who had their homes and livelihoods devastated by Hurricane Ida. This is your semi-annual reminder that human beings who seek to illegally profit from others’ misery should be chained together in a very smelly sewer.
Governor Wolf was in Scranton this week to support President Biden’s infrastructure plan, dangling the possibility of new northern Amtrak routes to the train-loving masses. Is the Scranton-to-New York train finally a thing? WILL WE FINALLY MAKE FETCH HAPPEN??
Pennsylvania lawns are apparently suffering an unprecedented outbreak of something called armyworms, which sound pretty terrifying. Spotted lanternflies, murder hornets, stink bugs, now armyworms. Is anyone else getting the feeling that insects are plotting their revenge?
Today is World Suicide Prevention Day, which is always a good time to point out the fantastic work that Magellan Health is doing in Pennsylvania to battle this problem every, single day. Learn more about the efforts here.
On the Triad socials this week, we wrap up our #WinningWednesdays series with our homage to the high-tech workforce legislation our team worked on this spring. 
In our We Can’t Make This Up segment, we take you to the nation’s capital, where Congresswoman Eleanor Holmes-Norton today put out a statement disavowing any role in letting six zebras loose in the city. Listen, we watch enough Dateline to know that if you are denying a role in something no one accused you of in the first place, you are GUILTY AS HELL! Fess up, congresswoman!
That’s what passes for news around here as we eagerly await the return of the General Assembly. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll fall in love all over again! Until next time, from all your friends at team Triad, have a great weekend!