May 2, 2025
President Trump this week announced that he wants our country to do a lot more celebrating, hootin’ and hollerin’ on the anniversaries of the end of both World Wars One and Two. And while that seems like a nice enough idea, let’s not lose sight of the fact that today is “Osama Bin Laden is Dead Day.” Eleven years ago today, a team of Navy Seals deleted that jackwagon and dumped his sorry ass in the ocean. Hasta lasagna; don’t get any on ya.’
Newark Airport kicked off the summer travel season with a cascading array of problems that caused delays and cancellations at one of the nation’s busiest airports. In true New Jersey fashion, they blamed it all on Philly, specifically the TRACON Center. Kick rocks, Jersey.
The nation’s economy officially shrank for the first time since 2022, with the GDP coming in at a -.03%. Upon hearing the news, President Trump was quick to affix blame to former President Joe Biden, even going so far as to predict that if the economy shrinks again in the second quarter, that will also be Biden’s fault. Reached for comment while eating ice cream in Rehoboth Beach, Biden responded, “Who said what now about the thing?”
There was good news, however, as the economy also added 177,000 jobs last month, surprising the Wall Street know-it-alls. We assume this data will be known as the “Trump Jobs Report.”
Bernie Sanders is coming to Pennsylvania on his Fighting Oligarchy Tour, surpassing the Rolling Stones for the total number of nationwide tours. That name, though. “Fighting Oligarchy,” sounds like the name of a really crappy Rage Against the Machine album.
As President Trump moves to defund the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, Gov. Josh Shapiro announced that he is creating a mini-CFPB right here in Pennsylvania. No word yet whether Elizabeth Warren will cut the ribbon on the new facility. Get ready for the states to pick up way more programs that used to be federally run and funded.
There has been a lot of squawking about Medicaid in the federal city and here in Pennsylvania. Maybe you are reading about it, hearing about it or intentionally tuning it out like you would when the Fighting Oligarchy song comes on XM Radio. But, dear reader, Medicaid is a MASSIVE part of the Pennsylvania budget. Y’all need to pay close attention if you follow state budgets closely. Or we will, and you can just keep noodling with the radio.
Shapiro also announced that Pennsylvania will join with 25 other states to fight against federal cuts to AmeriCorps. There are some very worthy programs that are partially funded by AmeriCorps, and many of them are in danger of closing up shop should the president’s proposed cuts make their way into Congress’ final budget.
We certainly cannot leave Cutsville without mentioning that, sometime last night, the president signed an executive order (hey, something new!) that calls for stripping federal funds from both NPR and PBS. Before you run out and start a pledge drive, remember that NPR only receives about 1% of its funding from the feds, so those folks will probably be able to continue to inform you, while simultaneously boring you to death. HOWEVER, PBS gets about 15% of its funding from the feds, so the only solution, obviously, is to finally get Elmo the hell outta there. You should see that guy’s contract.
The Philadelphia School District is preparing to dip into its reserve funds to the tune of $300 million this year to avoid teacher layoffs and service cuts. SEPTA officials responded by asking, “what in the hell is a reserve account and how do we get one of those?”
For the past few years, our state government has done an amazing job increasing school funding, some of it targeted at the poorest districts in the Commonwealth. Well, get prepared for the Outrage Machine to hit max volume soon, as we learned that a huge part of that loot has been used by those districts to pay the increasing cost of cyber charters. The cyber funding reform movement was set on simmer for a while. Expect a roiling boil in June.
Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy was at the Naval Yard in Philly this week, highlighting the Trump administration’s plans to build more big, ol’ boats. As big, ol’ boat construction goes, Philly yards build a handful of them each year. China builds about 1,800. Chew on that one.
On the Triad socials this week, say congrats to our own Roy Wells and Doug Rohanna, our latest recipients of the prestigious PA Power 100 awards. We got more power up in here than Peach Bottom!
In our We Can’t Make This Up segment, we don’t even have to leave the Keystone State! Off to Delaware County we go, where a road rage incident between two women devolved into a scatological disaster, as one woman departed her vehicle, jumped on the hood of the other woman’s car and BAM! Number two, coming at ya! The perp, now known as the Delco Pooper, was arrested today. As one of our finest staffers pointed out, this is one of the most Delco things we have heard in a while!
That’s what passes for news around here as we try and NOT get into any road rage incidents this weekend! We just washed our car. From all of your friends here at Team Triad, have a great weekend!