September 13, 2024

The nation paused this week to mark the 23rd anniversary of the 9/11 attacks on our nation. Maybe we are getting older, but it seems like the remembrance ceremonies get less and less coverage every year.  We all say, “never forget,” so next year, how about we walk that walk a little better?

On Tuesday, Vice President Kamala Harris and former President Donald Trump met (mercifully) for their only debate of this election season. Judging by the partisan vitriol and name-calling, and also because we value our sanity, we might just leave it at that. You wanna replay it? That’s your choice. But you should probably find a hobby, or maybe seek help.

Minutes after the smoke cleared, Pennsylvania’s most famous childless cat lady, Taylor Swift, endorsed Harris for president. Will it matter? Maybe, maybe not so much, but before you dismiss that little nugget, think about the fact that Taylor Swift has a STAGGERING 284 million Instagram followers. And they ain’t following her because they hate her.

Meanwhile, as Harris’ poll numbers suggest she is widening her lead in Wisconsin and Michigan, that “other” blue wall state, our very own piece of heaven, is still essentially tied. And as we have been told a million times, the only road to Pennsylvania Avenue runs through that avenue’s namesake. Conventional wisdom is that Harris’ flippy-floppy on a fracking ban might just have a bit to do with her struggles here. But whatever the reason, in 54 days, whoever we go dancing with goes to the prom, and the loser goes to Chipotle, alone and dejected, crying into a burrito bowl.

For whatever it is worth, we were once again reminded later this week that the POTUS, whoever it ends up being and despite whatever the hell they say, cannot enact a national fracking ban. Period. Only Congress can do that, and we can safely say at this point… not happenin’ Captain.

If the goal/job in the next 54 days is to ensure smooth elections, you probably don’t wanna see a headline that starts with these two words, “Errors undermine…” Alas, an online tool that is designed to help you find your polling place isn’t exactly humming along. Is it a question of bad data in/bad data out?  Probably, but a word to the wise: get that sh*t fixed ASAP or YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT! Election/polling/ballot/online glitches are how fairy tales begin.

Y’all smell that? It is the smell of some fancy legislatin’ in the air! The PA House returns to business next week, followed by the state Senate, and then KATIE BAR THE DOOR! Time to put a bow on the 2023-2024 Session! You are probably breathlessly anticipating what will be on the agenda, right? Well, tune in to PCN television on Tuesday morning and our own Mike Manzo will tell you. Or wait until he lays it all out in magnificent color for you on the Triadvocate. Either way, the waiting is the hardest part, people. 

One of the biggest policy achievements of our dear General Assembly this year was the earmark of $25 million to help schools outfit their roofs with solar panels, which generates loot for the schools and diversifies the ol’ energy portfolio. That $25 million is trickling out the door, so if you have an interest, don’t wait – $25 million does not go as far as one might think. There are 500 school districts in this Commonwealth.

Lawmakers are starting to take a long, hard look at Medicaid changes made back in 2011, when the program stopped covering most preventive dental care. The changes have led to a rather gruesome reality, where getting a tooth yanked from your skull is pretty much all that is covered. Imagine that paradigm existing for other Medicaid coverages? Oh, you have an infected cut on your finger? Medicaid will only cover amputations. So, bite down on this wooden spoon…

Pennsylvania is poised to allow the purchase of hard liquor in grocery stores, a change that is only 91 years in the making. Get your canned cocktails soon and just ignore the fact that canned cocktails are, to be fair, mostly kinda yucky.

Out in the birthplace of organized labor, western Pennsylvania, some previously fossil-fuel job-dependent unions are forging ahead with plans to help transition to that clean, green economy that we hear so much about. The catch is, of course, that they want the non-fossil-fuel dependent jobs. Seems fair to us!

Wait, what? It is already happening in Pittsburgh? This week, the 100-plus workers at a battery storage manufacturer voted overwhelmingly to form a union. In typical Yinzer fashion, the CEO of the company responded with, essentially, “they did? Oh, cool.”

Every Friday the 13th, we personally rank the most cringe-inducing political memes connected to this day of untold cinematic horror. Today’s winner, edging out the thousands of memes about Kamala’s inflation being “scarier than Friday the 13th” was our own Bob Casey with “corporate greed is scarier than Friday the 13th.” Yes, Casey is relentlessly on message, but really? Is corporate greed is scarier THAN a dude in a mask with an axe chasing your kids down the street? 

On the Triad Socials this week, y’all better come say congrats to our fearless business manager, Andrea Updegrove, who clocked in Monday for her 22nd year at Team Triad. And if you are a member of Team Triad who has not yet congratulated her, you had best get to it. She does the payroll around here. 

In our We Can’t Make This Up segment, we take you to South Carolina, where a conductor of a CSX freight train answered a question that every five-year-old with a Lionel train set has asked at least once: what would happen if this train got into a collision with an Army tank? Thankfully, nobody was hurt, but let’s just say that trains are still undefeated when it comes to collisions. Now, in the five-year-old’s “tank vs. train” scenario, toy Matchbox ambulances arrived on the scene along with the Millenium Falcon, the Batmobile and a G.I. Joe (with Kung-Foo Grip.)

That’s what passes for news around here, as we de-camp for a quiet weekend before the General Assembly returns and all holy hell breaks loose. Dogs and cats, living together (or perhaps being eaten, who knows)! KIDDING, PEOPLE!! From all your friends at Team Triad, have a great weekend!