November 22, 2024
We begin this week by passing along our sincere condolences to the family, friends and colleagues of Pittsburgh Fire Department Battalion Chief John Walsh, who tragically passed away Wednesday as his team responded to a structure fire.
The biggest story in Pennsylvania this week was undoubtedly U.S. Sen. Bob Casey Jr. conceding to Dave McCormick and thus ending the Casey Dynasty (at least until one of Bobby’s kids gets the itch!) We have enjoyed working with Bob over the years and wish him and his family all the best. At the same time, a hearty congratulations to Senator-elect McCormick, who enters Congress as somewhat of a dragon slayer! It ain’t easy to defeat a Casey!
During the Casey/McCormick recount, we had yet another court decision on whether counties should/could count undated or wrongly dated mail-in ballots. Of course, this caused loud, online partisan bickering on both sides of the aisle, largely by the same people who could solve these very issues in six legislative session days if they really wanted to.
Conventional wisdom says that most presidents nominate one person who they KNOW cannot get confirmed, so as to draw fire away for the other nominees. Meet the latest sacrificial lamb, Matt Gaetz, who was forced to drop his quest for attorney general this week over… you know, some stuff.
After being informed that Simon Bar Sinister was also NOT available to run the DOJ, President-elect Trump swiftly nominated Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi instead.
By the way, in honor of today’s first snowfall of the season, here is a clip of Simon Bar Sinister using his ray gun to make it snow in the summertime on the old Underdog cartoon. See how these things all come together?
Two years after being vanquished by now-Sen. John Fetterman, Dr. Mehmet Oz will be likely going to D.C. anyway, this time as Trump’s appointee to run the ginormous Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services. This job is about as glamorous as two-week-old bread, but its impact on everyday Americans is hard to overstate. So, time to ditch the holistic medicines and beet supplements and get real familiar with Medicaid reimbursement rates and state waiver requests.
Governor Shapiro touted his new PA Fast Track Executive Order, which is part of his overall effort to overhaul the state’s permitting process. This may not seem like a big deal to those sitting at home, but let us assure you, if you have ever applied for a permit to do damned near anything in Pennsylvania, this is big. No one cares about permits until you need one, kinda like no one cares about lobbyists or lawyers… until you need us.
The heat is starting to get turned up over the proposed Nippon Steel $14.9 billion purchase of U.S. Steel. Local officials and some union members are starting to warm up to the idea, which is REALLY angering the head of the Steelworkers union. No matter what happens in the short term, this stalemate will eventually put two people, President Donald Trump and Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro, directly in the spotlight and perhaps in the same room. That should be fun!
On the other side of the state, Governor Shapiro announced this morning he will flex federal highway funds, sending cash-strapped SEPTA a cool $153 million to stave off huge service cuts, but apparently not fare increases. A 7.5% fare hike goes into effect next week. Flexing highway funds for transit is about as popular as scabies for most GOP elected officials. January in the General Assembly is about to jump up a notch.
Now that SEPTA is off the chopping block for the time being, there is no better time to head to the City of Brotherly Love for the annual Philly Marathon this weekend. Run around the city, yell “Go Birds!” at everyone, and have a cheesesteak afterwards. It’ll be fun.
Hold the presses folks. The venerable and storied New York Times Wirecutters List has named Pittsburgh’s own Heinz ketchup as the best in the country. Pssst. Mr. and Mrs. Wirecutter? We don’t know who you are or where you come from, but this is not news. At all. Heinz has been the best ketchup on the planet since it was invented. It is a fact that the top two ketchups in the world are: 1) Heinz and 2) Heinz that you accidentally squirted onto the floor, then scooped up and ate it with your fries anyway.
The state Supreme Court has (once again) ruled that local gun ordinances are not legal because the state pre-empted them in 1974 when the General Assembly passed THE PENNSYLVANIA UNIFORM FIREARMS ACT! See right there in the title where it says “uniform?” Wishing that something were legal is not quite the same as it actually being legal.
Amtrak has completed the $122 million track upgrade between Harrisburg and Philadelphia a week early, ensuring the Thanksgiving travelers between the two cities won’t have to get off the train and onto a bus to get where they are going. Rail enthusiasts should probably celebrate this feat now, since we are, um, skeptical, of the incoming administration’s commitment to things like regional rail service.
Over on the Triad Socials, we are looking to add some 2025 firepower to the S.S. Triad. Check it out if you or someone you know is looking for greener and way cooler pastures.
In our We Can’t Make This Up segment, we take you to Los Angeles, where four local morons are in custody for defrauding insurance companies after reporting that a bear had broken into their vehicles and caused damage. The problem? The bear in question was one of the aforementioned four local morons dressed in a bear costume. The amount of work and creativity that some Americans are willing to expend to commit a crime is, at times, astounding. Hey, I need some cash. Should I get a second job, or dress up like a bear and trash my own car for the insurance money? BEAR COSTUME IT IS!
That’s what passes for news around here, as we race into the holiday season with the unbridled joy of Mariah Carey jacked up on ecstasy and Mountain Dew. But we cannot let you roll into Thanksgiving week without your annual reminder that the 1978 WKRP turkey drop episode is still the gold standard for holiday viewing. Enjoy, and have a great weekend!