June 13, 2025
President Trump’s grand military parade will hit the streets (literally) of Washington, D.C. tomorrow, where HUGE crowds will be gathered to enjoy the ceremony or protest it, depending largely on your opinion of the host. If military shows of strength are not your brand of whiskey, we ask you to simply remember that tomorrow is the 250th birthday of the world’s fiercest fighting force, the United States Army. So, feel free to celebrate however you see fit.
Last night, Israeli defense forces launched a surprise attack in Iran, wiping out several senior military leaders and crippling some military capabilities. And they ain’t done yet, Jack Spratt. Israeli leaders say the show is just getting started, which means the Middle East fuse is lit and burning rapidly. As an aside, y’all may wanna fill up your gas tanks now.
Also, this week, a U.S. Senator was suplexed and cuffed at a press conference. It occurred to us that all this drama happened before Friday the 13th (today) even dawned, meaning we don’t necessarily wanna see what the rest of this day brings. We will be in the basement with our headphones on if you need us.
Before we leave the Federal City, we cannot help but give a shout-out to U.S. Rep. Madelaine Dean, which this week gave us the best public hearing soundbite in memory when she reminded the U.S. Commerce Secretary that one cannot manufacture bananas here in the gool ol’ U.S. of A. Even we perpetually grumpy folks got a chuckle out of that one.
Back here in the relatively quiet Keystone State, we are slouching towards the June 30th budget deadline (which is more of a polite suggestion than an actual deadline) and at least one GOP senator said this week that the budget talks in Congress are adding “unpredictability” to our own budget debate. He has now won this week’s Quiet Understatement Award.
The budget itself is wrapped around the axle of a SEPTA bus at the moment, with both sides pointing to transit funding as the big pothole standing between the General Assembly and summer recess. For its part, the PA House will try to tackle that funding shortfall this week. Stay tuned for the real fireworks.
We feel compelled to tell you all that once again, the PA House has passed two bills that have been around longer than Mel Brooks (gratuitous Spaceballs: 2 shoutout!). First, the two-decade-old plan to raise the state’s minimum wage advanced.
And then, like swallows returning to Capistrano, the ban on Sunday hunting passed. Later this year, folks around the Commonwealth will still be making $7.25 an hour while simultaneously still not hunting anything on Sundays.
The lower chamber this week also told the private equity folks to look elsewhere for the next hospital to scarf up. Those unhappy with the plan should take it up with Crozer Health. Rarely have we seen the General Assembly move with such alacrity as it did after Crozer told Delaware County to kick rocks. That’ll learn ya.
The Shapiro Team notched one helluva victory this week as it convinced Amazon to drop a cool $20 billion on an AI/data center/energy collaboration with the Commonwealth. The announcement shook the political scene in Pennsylvania and likely jump-started a rush of other players looking to get into the ballgame.
Southwest Pennsylvania is the center of the golf universe this week as the PGA tour’s U.S. Open comes to Oakmont. Players are already grousing that the course itself is tougher than an Aliquippa steelworker who is married to a Greene County coal miner. Well, thems the breaks, boys. We go HARD in western PA.
The Pittsburgh region is also playing host to the filming and production of the Milton S. Hershey story, which is kinda cool, we guess. Anyone tell the film’s producers that the town of Hershey itself is only about 200 miles away? Turning Pittsburgh’s south side into Chocolate Avenue seems like re-creating the wheel, since Chocolate Avenue still, you know, exists.
The Shameless Client Plug of the week goes to Doral Renewables, who’s President Nick Cohen this week testified in front of a House committee in favor of a slice of Governor Shapiro’s energy plan that he called the most consequential piece of legislation he has seen. Check it out here.
Meanwhile, the fine folks at the Central Penn Business Journal tapped our own Roy Wells and Mike Manzo for their annual Power Lobbyist list. Do you feel the power, young Jedi? DO YOU???
In our We Can’t Make This Up segment this week, we take you to Thailand, where an elephant cruised into a convenience store and started snacking away, much to the owner’s chagrin. The elephant scarfed down a sandwich, some snack food, and a banana, which is essentially every third-grader’s bag lunch, before being asked to leave. Thanks to the aforementioned Rep. Dean, we know for a fact the banana in question was not manufactured here in the U.S.
That’s what passes for news around here as the June budget deadline gets a little larger in the windshield. Check back next week when there will be a whole list of new issues for us to poke fun at, as long as the middle east doesn’t explode. From all your friends at Team Triad, have a great weekend!