October 18, 2024

Good afternoon, campers! We are now only 17 days from the MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF OUR LIVES, which will be true right up until four years from now, when the 2028 elections will be the MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION OF OUR LIVES! In case you were wondering whether all of Pennsylvania’s votes will be counted on election night, stop wondering. They won’t. Early money says Allegheny County will finish up the same day, while Philly most likely will not. So, if this entire national race comes down to Pennsylvania, it is gonna be awfully crowded in Philly on the morning of Nov. 6. 

Meanwhile, surrogates for both the Harris and Trump teams are out in force, and this time around, money talks and you-know-what walks. On the Team Trump side of the ledger, Elon Musk is barnstorming the swing states, while Mark Cuban is carrying the Harris flag. This is where we would say something incredibly snarky about two billionaires trying to talk to blue-collar voters, but we will dispense with any of that since Musk owns X (formerly Twitter), and we happen to enjoy the Triad Strategies feed. We would hate to see it get vaporized overnight.

Control of the U.S. House of Representatives will come down to a handful of toss-up races, and thanks to Janelle Stelson’s surprisingly strong race against Congressman Scott Perry, our Commonwealth is now home to three of those toss-ups. We guess deciding who the next president will be isn’t enough for us, we also have to decide who controls Congress, too. Pennsylvania is awfully greedy, huh?

Vice President Harris went on Fox for a sit-down interview after weeks of people howling that she is avoiding tough questions. Minutes after her appearance, the same folks started howling that she hasn’t been on the Joe Rogan podcast. The bar for Harris seems to be that she has to talk to every American personally in the next 17 days, so expect a phone call soon from a 212-area code.  

Meanwhile, Donald Trump went to Bucks County and decided he really didn’t want to take any more questions, so he threw an impromptu dance party instead. If you know the history of American Bandstand, this makes perfect sense. Only thing missing was Dick Clark.  

Speaking of our outsized role in who gets the keys to the kingdom, along comes a story anointing Erie as the county most likely to have the final say. With Great Lakes comes great responsibility. 

Pennsylvania is now the proud owner of an Aa2 credit rating, meaning our Commonwealth can go out and get the new Capital One Venture Card at a zero percent introductory rate. Imagine the look of glee on Gov. Josh Shapiro’s face when he got that e-mail from Credit Karma. Now seems like a great time to get out there and borrow some money for things like, oh, the Redevelopment Capital Assistance Program!!

Meanwhile, Pennsylvania’s unemployment rate stayed below the national average again last month, holding at 3.4%, while 6.2 million Pennsylvanians had jobs, also a record. If we keep this up, our credit rating is gonna be American Express Black Card-level in no time!

Shapiro was in Pittsburgh this week (along with Tim Walz, Barack Obama, JD Vance, Elon Musk, etc.), touting the city as the home of the AI revolution. Fun fact: in Yinzer-speak, “AI” means “Ay! I know yinz guys are good at computers!”

As elected officials grapple with the issue of a lack of affordable housing across the country, a new invasive species called “the corporate-owned single-family home” is now making things even more challenging. Gone are the days when you would contact a realtor and make a deal with your neighbor to buy his or her house. Now you have to deal with a multi-national conglomerate that is hoovering up all available property like us at an Italian buffet.

Two weeks ago, in this very space, we set the odds at SEPTA getting more funding this year as “slim and none.” You can officially wipe slim from the odds column, as there are now only three session days left in the two-year cycle, and the clock is about to strike 12. 

Despite unprecedented increases in state direct aid the last few years, Pennsylvania’s nursing homes are closing at an alarming rate. The culprit?  Medicaid reimbursement rates that are far from keeping up with the cost of care. Lest you believe this is a solely a nursing home problem, buckle up, Buttercup.  Medicaid reimbursements are an issue that you are gonna hear a whole lot about in the coming months.  So learn up on them!

Our pals at Spotlight PA ran a heartwarming story of the small Pennsylvania town of Emporium, and how the people there reacted to the closing of a Sheetz by rallying around each other and backfilling the void with local businesses. This is what small towns do here in Pennsylvania, although this should have been a clear signal to Wawa to get in the game! Anyone contact John Fetterman?  

In our We Can’t Make This Up segment, we take you to Washington state, where a woman was forced to call 911 after hundreds of aggressive raccoons swarmed her house for weeks, making it almost impossible for her to get from the car to the front door. If you were wondering why in the hell hundreds of raccoons would do this, the answer became clear at the end of the story. Seems those feisty trash bandits magically disappeared after the woman STOPPED FEEDING THEM! Maybe try that first before calling 911?? And that is what passes for news around here, as the state legislative train roars into the station on Monday for its final stop of the year. Three blissful days, and then those fun-loving lawmakers will vanish, not to return (or in some cases, not return at all) until 2025 to do it all over again! We will have all the news for you next Friday if we survive! Until then, from all your friends at Team Triad, have a great weekend!