April 22, 2023

Thursday was 420 Day, and we would like to offer this public service announcement. We know what “420” means, but more importantly, it does not mean that you MUST go on social media on that day and post about how much you like to smoke weed, or how you recently smoked weed, or are planning to smoke weed or how much you wish weed were legal.  We get it.  Calm down.  You people have way too much energy for a bunch of people who smoke weed.  

Ten state legislators honored 420 by drafting a non-binding resolution to Congress asking it to de-schedule cannabis, which is the equivalent of you writing a strongly-worded letter to your school board.  But no harm in asking we suppose!  

Elon Musk’s SpaceX launch was also Thursday (speaking of adolescents who are happy to make spectacles of themselves on 420), and the heaviest rocket ever designed in the history of mankind blew up immediately after its launch, meaning that it was wildly successful for some reason.  Now, we are not rocket scientists, but…  

Fox News and Dominion Voting Systems settled their differences this week when Fox agreed to pony up $787 million dollars, or roughly what is currently lost in Rupert Murdoch’s couch cushions.  Reminds us of the old Billy Joel lyric, “so I rub my neck and I write ‘em a check, and they go their merry way.”  

We pause this week to mark with sadness the passage of a true lion of Congress, former Rep. Bud Shuster.  Perhaps the most powerful chair of the House Transportation Committee in the past century, we can’t help but be reminded of what the late State Senator Barry Stout once said about him.  “If you leave the garden hose in your yard running for too long, eventually Bud Shuster will have a four-lane suspension bridge built over the puddle.”  Godspeed, Bud.  

The Shapiro Administration this week made Xylazine a controlled substance here in the state since people have begun to use this insanely strong animal sedative illicitly.  Is there any substance on planet earth that people won’t look at and say, “hey, I should try that.”  

The State Supreme Court this week declined to hear a case challenging the constitutionality of bundling constitutional amendments, saying the issue was not ripe.  Reached for comment, Flo from Progressive said that you could save hundreds by bundling your home and auto insurance.   

That same court also sanctioned, in fairly direct and downright angry terms, two Fulton County Commissioners for allowing third party access to voting machines after clearly being told that was a no-no.  This is probably a good lesson for other county commissioners who may be tempted to follow suit.   

The State System of Higher Education has declined to decide on a proposed tuition freeze until July, causing some to accuse them of trying to leverage the General Assembly for more money, but we kinda get it.  It is tough to do a budget when you don’t know how big your paycheck is gonna be.   

There are now 8.6 million registered voters in Pennsylvania, and for some reason, there is now an interactive map showing you where they all are.  Seems like something of limited value, doesn’t it?  Over here, we can see that there are voters in every county!  Now over here, we see some counties have more voters than others!  Neat-o!  

On the heels of traffic fatalities reaching an all-time high, several states are moving to raise the speed limits on their highways.  Sure, it makes total sense.  We know that going faster inherently makes things way safer.  Hell, they teach that stuff in, like, third grade.   

Governor Shapiro was quite active in his former role as Attorney General in going after businesses for wage theft and misclassification of workers.  If you scofflaws out there believed for a second he would back down on those efforts now that he is governor, it ain’t happenin’ Captain.  He’s doubling down.    

For those who may be blissfully unaware, there is a race for the next Mayor of Philadelphia happening, and WHOA NELLY did it go off the rails Thursday night.  The latest candidate debate showed that we have clearly entered the name-calling and insult portion of the show.  Wake the kids and call the neighbors, it’s not even May yet!  

The race for Allegheny County Executive has largely been a much quieter affair out west, but there is still time.  Seems like some people in the county are still watching the Pirates’ surprising start and have not tuned in to politics yet.   

On the Triad Socials this week, we give a shout to our friends in the PA Professional Firefighters, who hosted Governor Shapiro in Altoona.  Nice work, folks!  

In our We Can’t Make This Up segment this week we take you to California, where they celebrated 420 Day by manufacturing a four hundred-twenty-pound chocolate bar loaded with 4.2 million milligrams of THC, or roughly enough to last Willie Nelson for a whole weekend.  ‘Merica, baby.    

That’s what passes for news around here.  Catch us next week when we will tell you about some stuff and a few things and whatnot.  From all of us at Team Triad, have a great rest of your weekend!